This is the time of year when many of us reflect on the past 12 months and think about how we might do better in the year ahead. You may have more time off, which often means more time on social media—scrolling through images of friends and family enjoying holidays and adventures. Add to that the extra money spent during the festive season, and suddenly your bank balance might feel a little uncomfortable. All of this can easily stir up anxiety and feelings of failure.

Let’s pause for a moment. Take a breath. Gently bring your focus back to what truly matters to you—the things that help guide you toward your own version of success.

There is so much pressure this time of year. Parents may ask when you’ll find the “right” partner or give them grandchildren. Friends might question when you’re buying a house, upgrading your phone, or landing a better-paying job. You may even feel stuck in a role that doesn’t pay enough to cover all your bills. On top of everything else, society often tells us we’re not doing enough, not achieving enough, or not being enough.

That collective pressure alone is enough to make anyone feel like a failure. So again—take a deep breath. Imagine cutting energetic cords with society, family, and friends. Return any energy that isn’t yours. If you can, step outside, stand on the grass, and ground yourself for a few minutes. This is basic energy hygiene—clearing your space so you can focus on your own path and swim in your own lane.

If you don’t already have a daily energy hygiene practice to help you stay clear, focused, and less distracted by fear or others’ expectations, we should chat. Life is confusing enough without carrying projections and worries that don’t belong to us.

When we are clear, it becomes much easier to sense what success truly means to us. From that place, we can set goals and work toward becoming the best version of ourselves—according to our values, not those of our parents, friends, or society.

For me, success looks like slow, quiet mornings. Time for my spiritual practices. Space to process my emotions. Being able to give back by helping clients heal and find their purpose. Having flexibility to be present for my partner and children when they need me. Time to do what brings me joy and makes my heart sing. Being in nature with no agenda. Slowing down in the evenings so I can rest deeply and wake up refreshed, ready to be of service again the next day.

You’ll notice I didn’t mention the size of my house, the car I drive, how much money I have in the bank (or under my mattress 😊), my next holiday, or a high-paying, stressful job. Those things simply aren’t important to me. They might be important to you—and that’s okay. My intention in sharing this is to remind you that maybe we don’t need to be so hard on ourselves. Maybe we can choose kindness and compassion instead.

It’s also okay not to follow what others want for us, especially when it doesn’t align with how we see our own lives unfolding. Life moves in cycles, and you may be in a particularly challenging phase right now. That, too, is part of the adventure. Everything changes.

If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, keep breathing. Take small steps to care for yourself. Spend time in nature. Write down a few simple, achievable actions that help you feel like you’re moving forward. Even small things—doing a load of washing, putting the dishes away, making a nourishing meal, or having a shower—can help shift your energy and bring you back into flow. Each one is a step in the right direction.

You don’t need to be where everyone else is—or where others think you should be. You’re on your own unique path, and what an adventure that is.

If you’d like some support along the way, please feel free to contact me.